• Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc. [ bottom ]


    JASON SITS AT HIS DESK ENGROSSED IN CONVERSATION WITH CARL. CARL LEANS OVER THE WALL OF JASON’S CUBICLE WITH A PUZZLED, YET INTERESTED DEMEANOR. CARL Now explain this to me one more time. She’s a rabbit spy- JASON INTERRUPTS CARL IMMEDIATELY. JASON sexy rabbit spy CARL PAUSES A MOMENT, GIVING JASON A LOOK OF ANNOYED FRUSTRATION. CARL She’s a SEXY rabbit chef who runs her own restaurant- JASON INTERRUPTS CARL AGAIN. JASON Please…please just let me tell it. CARL THROWS UP HIS HANDS IN AGGRAVATION. JASON IGNORES CARL AND CONTINUES WITH HIS STORY. JASON (CONT’D) Trixie Fricasee is a sexy rabbit spy under cover in Russia. She used to own her own diner just outside an Air Force base in Minnesota- CARL GROWS CONFUSED AND CUTS OFF JASON. CARL – but – JASON SNAPS BACK QUICKLY, GIVING CARL A LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL. JASON Please save your questions until the end. CARL LOWERS HIS HEAD SLIGHTLY OUT OF EMBARRASSMENT AND JASON CONTINUES, AS THOUGH NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. JASON (CONT’D) After a bar brawl got out of hand, she caught the attention of Major Rufus Ruffledfeather. He happened to be looking for someone he could send to Russia as his eyes and ears and he thinks this rabbit could be the perfect choice. JASON FINISHES HIS STORY AND SEARCHES CARL’S CONFUSED FACE FOR A REACTION. JASON (CONT’D) Questions? THERE IS A LONG PAUSE AS NEITHER OF THE CHARACTERS MOVES OR REACTS. FINALLY, CARL BREAKS THE SILENCE. CARL (IN A MOUSY, TIMID VOICE) Why Minnesota? JASON She can put up with cold winters. The last candidate refused to go to a place you couldn’t surf. CARL FINDS THIS ABSURD AND SNAPS BACK AT JASON CARL You can’t refuse a military assignment simply because you won’t be able to surf. JASON (laughing) Clearly you’ve never seen Point Break. Excellent piece of cinema Carl. Sums up our generation perfectly. CARL SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISAPPROVAL CARL Is there even an Air Force base in Minnesota? JASON STARES AT CARL FOR A MOMENT WITH A FROZEN LOOK OF CONTEMPT. JASON No, but realism isn’t my strong suit. Reality is boring. CARL Then explain to me why reality television is so popular? Survivor is currently the most-watched show in the country. THERE IS A QUICK, NONEXISTENT TRANSITION BETWEEN THE TOPICS, AS JASON AND CARL FALL INTO THEIR OLD RITUAL OF TALKING ABOUT NOTHING. JASON First and foremost, that’s not true. CARL SHAKES HIS HEAD AGAIN IN DISAPPROVAL AND OPENS HIS MOUTH TO TRY AND SAY SOMETHING. JASON (CONT’D) Second . . . JASON SEES CARL TRYING TO INTERRUPT HIM CUTS HIM OFF IMMEDIATELY. JASON (CONT’D) Let me finish . . . second, that isn’t reality. JASON LOOKS AT HIS WRIST WATCH AND NOTICES ITS TIME FOR LUNCH. HE PUSHES HIS CHAIR BACK FROM HIS DESK AND STANDS UP. JASON (CONT’D) Throwing people into a carefully orchestrated situation in hopes of seeing what they do isn’t reality. JASON WALKS OVER TO HIS COAT THAT IS HANGING ON A RACK INSIDE HIS CUBICLE. HE PUTS ON THE COAT, CHECKING HIS COAT POCKETS FOR HIS WALLET AND PHONE. JASON (CONT’D) In fact, I’m convinced it’s the complete opposite of reality. JASON AND CARL LEAVE THE OFFICE AREA AND HEAD TOWARD THE ELEVATORS. JASON PUSHES THE DOWN BUTTON AND THEY BOTH LOOK OUT A WINDOW NEAR THE ELEVATOR. JASON POINTS OUT A MAN SITTING ON A BENCH, EATING A SANDWICH. CARL Friend of yours? JASON He’s eating a sandwich. There is absolutely nothing interesting about it. JASON AND CARL STARE INTENTLY AT THE MAN AS HE TAKES OF BITE OF HIS SANDWICH AND CHEWS, UNKNOWINGLY BEING WATCHED. THE CHORUS FROM THE SONG, “YOU MAYBE RIGHT” BY BILLY JOEL BEGINS TO BLAST LOUDLY. JASON AND CARL BOTH SNAP BACK FROM STARING AT THE MAN AND SHARE A LOOK OF CONFUSION. CARL Are you going to answer that? JASON REALIZES HIS CELLPHONE IS RINGING AND STARTS TO SEARCH HIS POCKETS. THE CHORUS REPEATS ITSELF TWO TIMES BEFORE JASON FINALLY FINDS HIS PHONE AND ANSWERS IT. CARL RETURNS TO STARING AT THE MAN EATING ON THE BENCH, WHILE WE HEAR JASON’S CONVERSATION. JASON (O.S.) Jason Goolsby’s phone (beat) This is he (beat) I just said that (beat) What? (beat) Is he alright (beat) OKay. Okay. I can be there in half an hour. CUT TO:

    Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.

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