• Cold Open - House

    Dr. House

    Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc. [ bottom ]

                   INT. ICU. NIGHT
                    (CHUCK, DR. HOUSE)

    THE HOSPITAL ROOM IS BRIGHTLY LIT, AS THE HUM AND DING OF VARIOUS MEDICAL EQUIPMENT ECHOES THROUGHOUT THE VACANT HALLWAYS. A LONE PATIENT, CHUCK, LAYS MOTIONLESS IN BED, THOUGH STILL QUITE AWAKE. DR. HOUSE ENTERS THE ROOM, READING A CHART, NOT BOTHERING TO GREET CHUCK. DR. HOUSE STANDS OVER THE BED AND THERE IS AN AWKWARD SILENCE. CHUCK So (beat) What’s my status, doctor? DR. HOUSE SNAPS OUT OF HIS READING, AS IF CHUCK IS DISRUPTING OR ANNOYING HIM SOMEHOW. HOUSE STARES BLANKLY INTO CHUCK’S EYES, TOSSES THE CHART ON CHUCKS BED CARELESSLY, AND FINALLY RESPONDS. DR. HOUSE What’s your name again? CHUCK It’s Chuck. DR. HOUSE Chuck? Like, “Up-Chuck?” CHUCK LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM WITH CONFUSION, NOT KNOWING WHERE THE DOCTOR IS GOING. CHUCK Yes? DR. HOUSE Interesting. Because your face looks like up-chuck. DR. HOUSE SEARCHES CHUCK’S FACE FOR A RESPONSE, SEEING NONE, HE MOVES ON. DR. HOUSE (CONT’D) Chuck, what were you doing near the Princeton Quad that got you maced in the face tonight? CHUCK STALLS FOR A MOMENT, TRYING TO MAKE UP AN EXCUSE. DR. HOUSE (CONT’D) That’s exactly what I thought. Listen, Chuck, I don’t care what frat boys do for initiation purposes. I also don’t care how many panties you’ve effectively raided, or why all the boys at Pi Beta Kappa refer to you as, “Captain Hammer.” CHUCK It’s because the hammer is my . . . DR. HOUSE RUBS HIS FOREHEAD WITH FRUSTRATION. DR. HOUSE (interrupting) Ah, ah, ah, don’t care. The point is, Chuck . . . CHUCK (interrupting) Doctor, can you at least turn the lights on? I can barely see you. DR. HOUSE RUNS HIS HANDS THROUGH HAIR AND SITS DOWN ON THE BED. DR. HOUSE The point is, Chuck, tonight’s shenanigans may have caused you some permanent damage. CHUCK GROWS INCREASINGLY MORE PENSIVE. CHUCK Is it my face, Doctor? Cause you can fix that, right? DR. HOUSE DOESN’T RESPOND AND CHUCK BECOMES MORE ALARMED. CHUCK (CONT’D) Can you please turn the lights on, Doctor? I want to be able to see what’s going on. DR. HOUSE STARES AT CHUCK FOR A MOMENT, THEN UP AT THE LIGHTS ON THE CEILING, THEN BACK AT CHUCK. DR. HOUSE Chuck, the lights are on. FADE TO BLACK.

    Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.